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"Im verrrrry sorry to hear this. But if you like him so much you could try telling him how you feel. I know this seems hard, i havent actually done it but ive read every issue of seventeen magazine, and really, just try talking to him. I hope everything turns our alright."

Love Love Love

"God Says Yes To Me"
Kaylin Haught

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes

I finally found the one I want.

If you buy me this, I'll rub you on it.  Promise.

I've been having a long conversation with Josh about addiction, religion, and the gift of massage.  I really need to bite the bullet and buy this so I can work on people outside of class.  I'm very excited about it all.

And I'm sleepy, so I'm dull.


Real quick

You Are an Astrologer

You tend to be a fanciful, spiritual person with many interesting theories.

You are always trying to figure out how all the pieces of the world are connected.

You have a knack for predicting the future and reading people.

In modern times, you would make a good self help guru or a director of a non profit.


Brief update

Waiting on Jake to tell me it's time to leave work and go pick him up.  Spent most of the evening tonight at work watching The West Wing (as a secondary activity of course) and didn't put a single new digit down in this damn sudoku puzzle I've been carrying around since the weekend.  It's been a slow day.  Found out the daytime guy just decided to up and quit today instead of working out his notice.  Some people are just so touchy.

A friend I work with came in wasted Friday night/Saturday morning.  I mean massively, dangerously wasted.  So, long story short, I had to practically drag him to my car, drive him home, and upon learning he didn't have his keys, figure out how to get him to tell me his brother's name so I could find it in his cell phone and call for him to come open the door.  This led to me to work the rest of his shift for him, and also having to work the overnight Sunday morning as well.  Today in class, as a result, I fell asleep in massage lab on one of the tables and everyone in there is so nice they just let me sleep.  I felt bad.  :(  But it was nice to get three hours of sleep in the middle of the day.  Though weird.  When I need it I can just fall asleep anywhere I guess.

AAaaand in other news, yesterday I burned my forehead with a curling iron, forgot about it behind my bangs, and just a few minutes ago wiped my forehead with a kleenex and pulled the burnskin right off.  Good times.

With that, it is now 1:11, my lucky number, and Jake just let me know he's ready to be picked up so I'm out.  Hoping I do decently on the quiz tomorrow.

Oh yeah...

Here are the words to the poem I intend to incorporate into my backpiece that I posted about a while back.  Just wanted it here for my reference.  Oh, and cause it's awesome.

Choose Something Like a Star

by Robert Frost - 1947

O Star (the fairest one in sight),
We grant your loftiness the right
To some obscurity of cloud --
It will not do to say of night,
Since dark is what brings out your light.
Some mystery becomes the proud.
But to be wholly taciturn
In your reserve is not allowed.

Say something to us we can learn
By heart and when alone repeat.
Say something! And it says "I burn."
But say with what degree of heat.
Talk Fahrenheit, talk Centigrade.
Use language we can comprehend.
Tell us what elements you blend.

It gives us strangely little aid,
But does tell something in the end.
And steadfast as Keats' Eremite,
Not even stooping from its sphere,
It asks a little of us here.
It asks of us a certain height,
So when at times the mob is swayed
To carry praise or blame too far,
We may choose something like a star
To stay our minds on and be staid.

Last post for the day, I swear

Cuz it's time for bed.

But I just wanted to say...
It's finally Vagina Monologues time again!! YAY!!!!!

My favorite time of year. :D I hope they're willing to work with me on my schedule again this year. Hopefully they'll be able to trust me to take care of my own monologue without needing to be at every rehearsal.

Part of me wants to land the same part I've had for the past two years, and part of me wants to branch out and try something new. I'd love to at least read for My Angry Vagina this year.

Also, this makes me want to get moving on creating the V-Day tarot. Once I've got it all laid out, then I can go in seek of an artist. What a great item to sell to raise awareness, funds for the V-Day cause, and contribute to feminist spirituality. It would be a great item just to have for a hokey collector piece, but I'd like them to be readable and meaningful (not to mention beautiful) as well.

Until the Violence Stops

I'd like to write sometime soon about how participating in this organization changed my life in so many ways, but for now I REALLY need to go to sleep. Sheesh, I've got class in the morning.

I like them all :)

Haiku2 for papermoonriver
in a ritual
involving masculine tools
and feminine tools
Created by Grahame

Haiku2 for papermoonriver
i'm sure that's all
i need so badly to be
able to network
Created by Grahame

Haiku2 for papermoonriver
feel like i should make
all these reconciliations
before i reach out
Created by Grahame



Fifty-TwoCollapse )
From the beautifully poetic John Bright-Fey's translation of the Tao Te Ching.

Due to my Christian roots, it has always been easier for me to embrace the masculine principle of God.  I enjoy connecting with the Spirit of Mary and the feminine side of Christian mysticism, but it hasn't been the same as my familiar, youthful mainstream experience of resting in the arms of God.  Part of why I try to incorporate more pagan and magical beliefs into my personal spirituality is because I wanted to deepen my connection to the Divine Feminine.  This piece has truly aided me in this.  I can just feel her in and through it every time I read it (over and over and over, lately).  It feels like she is sitting next to me, or like we are cuddled up and she reads it to me as a Mother would read a bedtime story.

When I first read this, I felt like the spiritual haitus I had taken in order to reform my beliefs had ended, and it was now time to recapture my intimacy with the infinite, indescribable God of my heart.

I posted this from my old journal in ljbookofshadows quite some time ago, and felt like hunting it down and reposting it here for my reference.

This has meant so much to me recently

ever since it was posted in dailyrumi .

By God, don't linger
in any spiritual benefit you have gained,
but yearn for more—like one suffering from illness
whose thirst for water is never quenched.
This Divine Court is the Plane of the Infinite.
Leave the seat of honor behind;
let the Way be your seat of honor.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

-- Mathnawi II: 1960-1961
Version by Camille and Kabir Helminski

This, The Way of the Bodhisattva, The Way of a Pilgrim, and a new sociopolitical viewpoint have all sort of collided and I feel, as Josh so eloquently put it, like my entire life makes sense somehow.  I'm in a whole new direction, a turn of the plot that my every page has brought me to up til this point.